Background information on the topic "How do I affect others?"
Often our beliefs about how we affect others do not coincide with reality. This discrepancy between self-image and external image is often an obstacle to successful action. A realistic self-assessment is therefore a must for everyone who is in professional and personal contact with other people.
A complicating factor here is the diversity of roles we play in our lives. Our impact on others changes depending on the area of life. In order to develop the personality, it is necessary to focus on professional life, the 1 to1 encounter, as well as on private life. The distortions in our perception of self often stem from the need to correspond to a certain, self-created ideal. Gaining control over non-verbal communication in particular requires a lot of training, as this is usually an automatic, i.e. unconscious process. Non-verbal communication includes not only gestures and facial expressions, but also, among other things, how we form sounds, fill or leave pauses, or unconscious signals such as sighing.
Analyses of one’s own behaviour, e.g. via video camera, facilitate self-reflection and alternative behaviour strategies can then be practised.
The first judgement, and hence the other’s decision to accept or reject you, is made in the first seconds of an encounter. This process is unconscious and cannot be prevented. On the other hand, our self-image is capable of change. It is therefore up to us to influence how we mediate ourselves. New influences should be incorporated into the concept of self-expression, positive ones must be recognized and retained and obstructive ones avoided.
The Management Institute Dr. A. Kitzmann leads the seminar “How do I affect others? - Feedback intensive” almost every second week in Münster, Hamburg, Berlin, Frankfurt, Stuttgart, Munich, Vienna and Zurich.
Author: Management Institute Dr. A. Kitzmann